So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
