I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
