i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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