she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Randomize
