If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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