So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
