just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's just like the Real World with babies
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
