That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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