Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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