No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
