We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
