so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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