nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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