I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
