he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
