The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
