A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i now understand why vodka
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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