Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
