sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
