is your mom at the bar?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
