Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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