i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
