dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
