she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Life without a bra equals bliss.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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