Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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