Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
