it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
