too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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