i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
