Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you will always have a special place in my vag
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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