I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
