Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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