I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
