Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
