Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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