Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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