I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
