Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
PANTIES FOUND
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