After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
