People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
