There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
