The maid of honor just puked.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
