I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
