? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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