I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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