How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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