Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
