They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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