if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
