Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
