Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
