I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think people are normalizing furries
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
