I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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